Why

I don't know what prompted it maybe it was some pictures I saw of myself today, but I couldn't help but have a whoa's me moment. I don't understand why in the 4 billion people or so on the planet why I have to be one of the ones who struggle so helplessly with my weight. Why my metabolism can't be faster. I want to be that girl who can eat like a horse and never gain a pound. I want to be that girl who can run for miles and hardly break a sweat. I want to be that girl who doesn't have a stretch mark on an inch of my body even after having 3 kids. Why couldn't that be me.. Why did I get the curse of being overweight most my life? I realize things could be much worse for me, I watch intervention and see these people who had traumatic childhoods sometimes less traumatic than mine and get addicted to meth or heroin because of it. I've been fortunate to not go that path. But my path is probably just as destructive to my body in a way. Its definitely not healthy to be overweight, I realize I'm at higher risk for stroke, heart disease, diabetes and numerous other ailments because of it but yet somehow none of that really registers in my brain when I'm scarfing down that Sonic cheeseburger and tots. Wasn't my childhood traumatic enough? What ultimate plan did the universe have for me that included being beaten and molested as a child and then grow up to suffer more with weight issues. It sucks. I hate being the girl with the" pretty face." I hate being the girl with the" bubbly personality", I hate being that girl who has to shop in the plus size section if there even is one. I want to just be normal!  Why can't I just be Normal?